Describe sabr as a fixed trait and the person who lacks it has nothing left to do but blame himself. Describe it as a skill and the question becomes a different one: what is the next step?
The steps are, at bottom, well known: telling apart what can be changed from what cannot, reducing what drains without returning anything, and postponing decisions taken at the peak of feeling.
None of this diminishes the devotional meaning of sabr. It makes it something a person can act on, rather than a description used to praise those who already have it.